Medical histories

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Medical histories

Postby Vincent on Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:01 pm

What follows are real typos in real people's medical histories. These come from a fax that has been doing the rounds in medical facilities for a while, allegedly it originated in the Greater Glasgow N.H.S. (National Health Service). No evidence has yet to be found to prove these are hoax's.

1. The patient as no previous history of suicides.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. Patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the last three days.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated most of her life until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under care for physical therapy.
20. Both Breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitals reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
27. When she fainted her eyes rolled around the room.
28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
29 Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this woman pregnant.
30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

Just keep a close eye on what your doctor writes next time :wink:
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Re: Medical histories

Postby FutureProspect784 on Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:54 pm

Vincent,

These are hilarious (well, I suppose not for the people involved), thanks for posting them. I find #21 to be especially funny.

:lol:
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Re: Medical histories

Postby divemedic on Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:28 pm

I myself would no want my Throid examined through my rectum (for those who don't know, your thyroid isin your neck)
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Re: Medical histories

Postby Cowtown Pattie on Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:06 am

I personally love #29....
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Re: Medical histories

Postby Epoch_Zero on Sat Jul 16, 2011 2:06 am

Heyo

Enjoyed reading through them XD

Reminded me of Skippy's List (which is long, so if I may, here's the link.. http://skippyslist.com/list

Hope you're all well and enjoy this too!
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